Could that be Kayla? I couldn't help but wonder as I turned into my cul-de-sac and saw her getting something out of a car parked in the driveway of Tony and Ellen Reed's place.
Her hair was the right color, although shorter than I remembered. She looked to be about the right age, but I hadn't really seen Kayla in what had to be about 20 years, not since she went away for college.
Tony told me they were moving so I'd naturally assumed the place would go on the market but instead it had sat vacant for the last eight months, with not a single "for sale" sign anywhere in sight.
I pulled into my garage and left it open while I walked back to the end of the driveway to check my mailbox. I glanced over that way again. The woman had returned to the car. She paused as she looked over my way. Then she waved. It was a friendly wave like she knew me.
That must be Kayla, I thought. That wave was friendly enough I decided I'd walk over and see for sure. If it wasn't Kayla, then I was thinking maybe I'd meet my new neighbors.
"Kayla? Kayla Reed? Is that you?" She was an attractive woman, mid thirties, about the right height, with the same dark brown hair and luminous grey-green eyes. It had to be!
"Hi Mr. Taylor." It felt weird to be called Mr. Taylor by a grown woman, but I suppose that's what she'd always called me back when she'd been our babysitter.
"Well look at you! All grown up and still as gorgeous as ever. How ya been? What brings you back to Eagle Creek?"
"I'm gonna be your neighbor again!"
"You don't say! Hey, that's great. I barely know most of the folks around here anymore. It'll be nice to have somebody I know." Then I thought back, "Since your folks moved out the Millers are the only other ones still left that you might remember."
"Oh sure. I remember him. He used to wake me up starting his truck in the morning."
"Ha. Well he's retired now, so at least that's one thing you won't have to worry about. I wondered why your house hadn't been up for sale. Your dad didn't tell me they were planning to turn the place over to you."
"Well...truth is they did plan to sell it, but then...well...I told them I was getting divorced, and, long story short, I decided to move back here."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, Kayla--about the divorce I mean--I'm happy to have you back in the neighborhood."
"Thanks. I'm ready for a fresh start. It's gonna be just me for a couple months while I get situated, fix up the place a little and hopefully find a job. The kids are with their dad through the summer, then they'll be with me in time to start school in the fall."
"You've got...two? Did I remember right?"
"Yep. Charlie's 8 and Lulu's 6."
"Already? Gosh time flies. But it'll be nice to have younger kids around the neighborhood again. It gets pretty quiet sometimes."
"How are Ben and Jen? And Mrs. Taylor?"
"Ben's in Law School and Jen's a Senior at Colorado State. They're both doing well. Holly and I split up. Last September, just after Jen moved out. It's just me now."
"Wow. I'm sorry. I didn't know. Mom and Dad never said anything. You guys always seemed like such a great couple."
"We were great, for a while, and then we weren't. Honestly, I'm not sure your folks knew. It all happened around the same time they moved."
"Huh. Yeah I think Mom and Dad moved in October. They're in an 'over 55' community now, with gates and everything. No kids allowed. We can visit, of course, but we can't stay, nothing too loud."
"They like it?"
"They love it. But what about you? You're staying here? She just let you keep the house? You didn't want to downsize?"
"Holly doesn't know what she wants. At the end, she only knew she didn't want me anymore. She was happy to cash out. We had some property and a little stock we sold. She got her half, 'dollars-wise.' I kept the house so the kids would have someplace to come home to, for holidays and whatnot, maybe grandkids someday. I put a lot of work into this place, even if I don't need all the space just for me. Maybe I'll sell later. We'll just see how it goes." As soon as it was all out of my mouth, I was thinking I'd just volunteered too much info to someone I basically didn't know anymore, even if we had known each other fairly well twenty years ago.
"Well I'm happy to see I'll have at least one familiar face around...other than Mr. Miller, that is. I don't really care if I see his face." She laughed.
So she liked me better than Miller. That's good, at least. "I think we can knock off that 'mister' stuff. Please just call me Jason, okay?"
She laughed. She had a great laugh, and a natural smile that really lit up her face. That's something I hadn't remembered. "Okay." She stuck out her hand. "Pleased to meet you, Jason."
Her hand felt nice. "Now that's better. Welcome back to the neighborhood, Kayla." I gave her my most sincere, welcoming smile. It really was nice to see her again, and to re-make her acquaintance.
"Mom and Dad are letting me live here rent free until I can get back on my feet. But I'm hoping to maybe stay and buy it from them. Like you said, see how it goes."
"Yep. Fresh off a divorce is a weird time. I guess we've got that in common. Listen, Kayla, if you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask, okay? You have to promise you'll let me help. You know you always were our favorite babysitter."
"Thanks. You know I always loved sitting for you guys too. Don't worry, if I need anything, I know where you live." She laughed again. She was even prettier when she laughed.
I turned and started to walk away, but then turned back. "I mean it," I reiterated, "you can call me for whatever."
"Thanks." She smiled sweetly and seemed sincere.
I didn't see Kayla for a few days after that. The way our houses are situated on the cul-de-sac we really don't have a great view of each other, except from the window in my master bedroom, and of course from out front in the yard. Her dad and I had basically only had yard conversations all those years they lived there. I don't think our wives knew each other much better, either.
But after talking to her I did think about Kayla. What can I say? I was a slightly lonely, but otherwise healthy 53-year-old divorced man living alone, and she was an extremely attractive 38-year-old single woman living almost next door. I hadn't had sex in almost a year. Of course I did more than think about her, I out and out fantasized about her and jerked off to images and thoughts of her in my head.
Fantasizing about Kayla came naturally to me, even more naturally than you might otherwise assume, because, the fact is I had also fantasized about her before, all those years ago when she was our babysitter.
I was 33 then, a new dad with two young kids and a wife who seemed to be (understandably) tired all the time. Kayla was 18 and just about the most luscious creature I'd ever actually had a conversation with. Even now I have a strong memory of those times, and especially of one particular moment.
There shouldn't have been anything special about that moment. Kayla was just standing in our front entryway while my wife was going over basic babysitting stuff, schedules and where to find things and whatnot. Kayla wasn't wearing anything especially sexy or revealing, just a plain dark red knit top, with kind of a scoop neck. Her top didn't even show any real cleavage, it mostly just hinted at it.
Maybe it was the way the light hit her, maybe it was pheromones or something...I don't know, but in that moment she almost glowed. I was looking at her, just noticing how incredibly pretty she was, young and fresh and adorable, with just the perfect amount of ripeness. Then she looked up and her eyes hit mine. She gave me a slight little smile and time froze. I think my heart might have actually stopped.
She looked away but kept that smile. I remember thinking, "what the fuck was that?" It actually took me a few seconds to recover. Never before or since has just a look from a woman hit me so hard. I confess a few times after that when my wife and I were together I did fantasize it was Kayla I was fucking, but it never went any further than fantasy.
Now here she was, back in my life, not a girl anymore, but a woman in full bloom. She was still great-looking, but now she'd had experiences. She'd lived a life. She had kids. She had scars (not that I could see, but what divorce doesn't leave them?). I told myself this time I should try to get to know her, to not just keep her as a fantasy. Would real life ruin my fantasy? That's a chance I would have to take. There also seemed to be a very slim possibility things might work out spectacularly well, and I might really get a shot with her. That seemed like probably too much to hope for, but I had to at least inch down that road, and see where it might take me.
Kayla, as it turned out, had her own ideas.
I'd offered to help her out, but really, she didn't need it. That house already had pretty much everything, and she had a lot of her own stuff too. She was mostly just doing a little painting to make it feel more her own, bringing in a couple pieces of furniture, getting rid of a couple old pieces that her folks had left, rearranging. But about a week after she moved in there was a heavy old dresser she couldn't move by herself, so she knocked on my door.
After we moved the dresser, I looked around at the general disarray, with drop cloths and boxes all over, and decided to make my first, tentative move.
"Why don't you come over to my place for dinner? I've got a chicken I was planning to roast. Nothing fancy, but you look like maybe you could use a bit of a break and frankly, I wouldn't mind the company. What do you say?"
"That sounds nice, Mr...I mean Jason. Thank you. I haven't spent this much time by myself since...well, since never!" She laughed. "I need to get out of my own head. What can I bring?"
"Just an appetite. I think I've got everything we need."
"Wine? Do you drink wine?"
"Sure. Whatever you've got. I don't think I have any wine, so yeah, bring us a bottle."
She brought two. First over dinner, and then sitting in my living room talking for over an hour after, we drank them both. We shared a little divorce talk, but not too much. She filled me in on her career, her kids, and what her older sister (who I barely even remembered) was up to. We reminisced about babysitting a little. Then things got interesting.
Two bottles of wine, even spread out between two people over a couple of hours, is going to have an effect. I couldn't help but notice that rather than seeming guarded, the way I might have expected, Kayla seemed to be leaning into the wine's natural effects, like she really wanted to loosen up, like she'd been planning on loosening up. Then she proceeded to show me why.
"Jason, did you know that all those years ago, back when I was babysitting for you guys, I used to have a crush on you?"
"You did?" I did not know. I only remembered that one brain-melting look, and maybe a couple of stray glances. At the time I'd dismissed all that, if it had been anything, as basically a pretty young girl practicing at using her power.
"Oh yeah. Just a harmless little schoolgirl crush."
"Huh." I decided to play it cagey.
"You were a real man, after all, not like those boys at school, a tall, handsome man with a nice smile and a good job, a nice house, a nice car, a nice cock..." her voice trailed off, lost in her thoughts.
I knew what I'd heard, and I decided not to ignore it. "What did you say?"
She froze for a moment, thinking. "Did I say that out loud? Ohmygod!" She started to get red, genuinely embarrassed. "I can't believe I said that! I'm so sorry! It must be the wine talking. Obviously I don't know...that was just part of my fantasy. What can I say?" Her body language deflated. "Divorce is hard."
"Yes it is, as well I know. No worries, Kayla. Fantasies are natural. I had my own fantasies too, back in those days, cheap, embarrassingly smutty little fantasies about my teenage babysitter. I'm not proud of it. So you see, maybe I wasn't such a nice guy after all."
"So I didn't dream it! I thought so! I thought I had you on the hook!" My confession had re-animated her. She laughed. "But then you never did anything..."
"What could I do? I was married and you were our teenage babysitter. For so many reasons...it was never gonna happen."
"Yeah. Cheap fantasies or not, you were a good guy. I respect that. It's part of why I liked you...I, on the other hand though, was not such a good girl. You totally could have had me."
I looked at her, hard. "Oh...you're a wicked one for telling me that."
"Yes I am." She looked right back at me. "But you're not married anymore, and I'm not a teen. So what's stopping you now?" Things suddenly got very tense.
"I don't know. Maybe nothing."
"Maybe?" She was a little drunk, but not so drunk that she didn't know exactly what she was doing.
This was all coming on real fast. Part of me wanted to play, but I'm not that smooth. I never even pretended to be a guy who has "game." I wasn't prepared for this to come at me so fast. "I don't know. I gotta be honest here. I guess I'm afraid I might be too old, afraid I'd disappoint you."
"I don't think you're too old. Do you feel too old?"
"The only time I feel old is when I look in the mirror. I am what I am. And what I am is a man who is probably a little too old for you."
"Jesus, Jason! Don't I get to decide that? Look, all cards on the table, I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I'm the stupid cliche, the horny divorcee. I just need to get fucked. I'm not looking for anything else. Just someone safe, clean, and not too psycho to have a good time with. I thought maybe that could be you. I thought we might have some fun. But you're kind of killing the vibe, Dude! Are you interested, or not?"
"Of course I'm interested!" It was probably the wine, for both of us, but I was dropping all pretense now and speaking truth, just like it seemed she was. "Kayla, you're gorgeous. You're every man's dream! I'm sorry, but I'm probably going to need to go a little slow. I haven't been with anyone else in 30 years."
"And I haven't in more than 13! So this is good." She sat back. "Let's just kinda see then. Not push anything too far or fast. We both know where we want this to go. Let's see if we can get there. We won't force it. If it happens it happens. If not, then so be it. Sound good?"
"That sounds great. Of course I'll try my best not to disappoint you, if we get that far, that is. You're so beautiful. You're way out of my league. But if you let me in the game I'm damn sure gonna give it my best shot."
"That's the spirit!" She laughed. "And trust me, after where I've been, you don't have that high of a bar to cross."
"Now that's a crime. Honestly, Kayla, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met."
"Thank you, Jason. You're right about one thing. It is a fucking crime. Not because I'm beautiful, or whatever. Sex is supposed to be fun, and I want to have fun again! It's been so fucking long since I've had any fucking fun...fucking. And you're a great-looking guy. Haven't you thought about dating again? And if not, why haven't you?"
"I've thought about it. I imagine I will again, someday. But I'm not in any real hurry. It hasn't even been a year yet. 30 years is a lot to unpack. You said you're not looking for a relationship now. I totally get that. I'm not either. But do you think you'll try again someday?"
"Probably someday. I just want to blow off a little steam right now, though. My kids are coming in three months, and it'll be a lot harder then. This is kind of like my big opportunity."
"Oh that's right. I get it. Well if you need me to be your...whatever you want me to be...then I'm more than happy to do whatever I can."
She leaned in towards me. "What do you think about maybe helping a girl live out her old teenage fantasies?"
I swallowed hard. "I think I'd like that...So...can I ask...what were your fantasies, all those years ago?" My cock was getting hard. The shock was wearing off and I was definitely warming to the situation.
"Just silly little 18 year old schoolgirl fantasies."
"You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine?"
"You mean your smutty little fantasies about me?" She smiled a teasing smile. "Now we're talking!"
"You first."
She started slowly, but then got right into it. Probably the hottest thing was the way she looked me straight in the eyes while she told me. "I had a few different ones...but my favorite went something like this:You'd pretend to have a business trip out of town. I'd pretend to spend the day and night at my friend Molly's. You'd check us into the honeymoon suite of the best hotel downtown, and then you'd spend the whole time absolutely ravishing me. We'd order room service, with champagne and fancy snacks like chocolate dipped strawberries. Your desire for me would be insatiable, unquenchable, insane. You would give me endless orgasms with your tongue, your fingers, and best of all, your cock, fucking me until I could barely walk. And I'd be a complete whore for you."
"Wow. At 18 you were thinking of all that?"
"Oh yeah. I had it all worked out. You'd want to leave your wife and kids for me, but I'd talk you out of it. Then we'd go back to our lives, act normal, nobody would suspect, but we'd know. After the first time, we'd have two more weekends like that, each more insane than the last, until just before everyone found out and our lives spun completely out of control, I'd end it, and we'd carry the secret to our graves, but once In awhile we'd see each other, on the street, or across a crowded restaurant. We'd exchange a glance and we'd know." She paused, smiling suggestively. My cock was uncomfortably hard in my pants. "Now you."
"Mine weren't so elaborate. Typical guy stuff, I suppose. You'd ask me to teach you about sex and so I would, sometime when your parents weren't home. Maybe during the day when I was supposed to be at work I would call in sick, sneak over there, and we would have tutoring sessions in your bedroom, which I never saw of course but I imagined it was all pink, like your tight, tasty little pussy. Or my other big fantasy was that you and Holly would conspire behind my back and then surprise me with a threesome."
"Those are good. You know if she had tried to get me to do that, I totally would have gone for it. You two were such a hot couple. And like I said, I was not a good girl."
"Wow." I was a little stunned, and couldn't help but think about what might have been. "I had no idea. I admit I thought you were just the nice, pretty little girl next door."
"Nope. I was terrible, and horny all the time. I secretly wanted to be a slut and I was trying to get there. I wasn't going to tell you this, but fuck it. I snooped through all your stuff. I found your porn. That's right. I found your porn and I watched it while I laid on your bed and jilled myself. I even found your honeymoon tape. Bet ya didn't know that!"
"Oh my god!" I was definitely shocked now. And my mind was fucking racing with what she'd said.
"Yep. So that's how I know you have a nice cock. A really nice one if I remember. I used to dream about what you could do to me with that thing."
I just stared at her, thinking about what might have been if I'd known at the time, and looking ahead to...
"Are you mad at me, for snooping through your stuff? For invading you privacy? I'm sorry I did that. I knew it was wrong. But also I'm not sorry, because it was so fucking hot and I learned so much. So you see, it's kind of like you did teach me things." She paused, and looked at me. "Are you mad?"
"I should be, I suppose, but no, I'm not mad."
"Are you hard?" She stared at my crotch, but I was sitting down and she couldn't really see.